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Messages You have no messages. Notifications You have no notifications. Jewish - Best Online Dating Sites of While there are tons of great options for online dating out there, trying to sift through the masses to find a match who shares your Jewish values can be exhausting. Visit Site Read Review. The matchmakers at the dating sites are either uninterested, just looking out to make sure their customer gets a match regardless if is good or not.
You have a pulse, he has a pulse.
As a woman in her mid-thirties, I can say I was mistreated by the shadchanim, matchmakers more than then by the men, one expects better behavior from the matchmakers. Most of the matchmakers are Orthodox women, even rabbis and they should be concerned about Jewish continuity and be curbing intermarriage hardly. The matchmakers on the dating sites act like the entire Jewish community coming for their help is ultra-Orthodox rather than different levels of observance, and take the issues of the Shidduch Crisis from one region and apply it to other areas, cities, and countries. Instead, of realizing the problem has to do with demographics and is not within the control of the women, the Jewish community places the blame on the women.
The sexism is rampant and they forget we are living in a modern world and someone who is modern Orthodox lives in both worlds. They want the perfect pre-feminism woman, all pretty, and no brains to serve the men and their whims. I have been told to change my hair, makeup have photos professionally done because men just look at the picture and have to like what they see, even though there was nothing wrong with my looks. Their demands contradict everything modern women are told they should not do for a man, change their looks or themselves.
This age is about being who you are and you should be liked on your merits if not, they are not worth your time.
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Ironically, the sexist double standard does not apply to the men; men are precious crown jewels to be treated with the utmost care, where it is supposed to the reverse. Repeatedly I have been told by matchmakers to dumb myself down, both my career and education not to offend and intimidate the men all to make myself more marketable. For the young women in the ultra-Orthodox community, who are less confident because they are still young and impressionable, the criticism can have disastrous and deadly consequences.
Eating disorders are disproportionately more rampant in the Orthodox community than any other segment of the American population. The woman was most concerned about how that philosophy and disparagement would affect other young women. This is not a joke, and it is not funny at all. You could literally be killing people by making these suggestions and perpetuating the ethos that underlies them.
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My punishment from the matchmakers for having an opinion was that I was permanently removed from all the online matchmaking sites as they all are operated on the same platform because I did not want to go with this one man. Trying to be open-minded and not superficial, I revisited a one man I had not given enough of a chance mostly because he was local, that was the biggest mistake of my recent online dating cycle.
We had nothing really in common all he was interested in fundraising for his business venture including from me, talking about himself, and bad mouthing everyone else. The more I did not want to go with this man the more his matchmakers, who were personal friends of his, forced him literally down my throat to the point that they were stalking me. I complained and instead of reprimanding the man or his matchmakers, sexism and favoritism towards the man prevailed, and I was the one thrown off because the matchmaking site said, since I am not comfortable I should not be on the site.
Therefore, the receptionist at the call center decided my online dating fate by erasing my profiles and locking me out on the entire Jewish matchmaking network. I was a victim being punished just as the MeToo movement was exploding. No one should be blocked from a Jewish matchmaking for marriage site because he or she did not want to go with someone, it is the most personal decision. In this intermarriage climate, these sites should be doing everything possible to ensure every Jew willing should be able to marry another Jew. Afterward, I tried private matchmakers but in my area, if you are looking for someone outside the ultra-Orthodox world they are a thing of the past.
Most personal matchmakers are in the ultra-Orthodox world where matchmaking is the normal way of getting a partner for marriage. For someone of my religious observance, I am too religious to intermarry and not religious for the ultra-Orthodox community. I tried contacting the limited few in my city. I was looking for him to be my savior, we talked, I explained what I went through, he told me to send my profile then crickets.
It is sad that even matchmakers resort to ghosting.
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Matchmakers and rabbis have an obligation, duty, and moral responsibility to help a Jewish single find a Jewish spouse. The stakes are higher and matchmakers cannot afford to play games, everyone they ignore or discourage is another young Jew they might lose to intermarriage. The way Jewish online dating and matchmaking is set up and the potential dating pool only discourages a Jewish single even more. Online dating even in the Jewish world with a religious mission is still at heart a business about making money.
The dating sites try to lure one to pay their subscription only to be disappointed once one is signed up. Neither should the prices be so high for what is a religious obligation for matchmakers and rabbis to do a mitzvah. Most of the men on the dating sites expect to have the women pay for them, host them, pay for business ventures, or support them financially. Another deficit, if you are not a rich Jewish single your chances of getting help from any matchmaker is virtually non-existent.
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There is a lot of preaching and concern about intermarriage but when it comes to help, there is none. Since I have been completely left out of the Jewish matchmaking world, I am going to make a public call looking for a nice and normal Jewish man. I challenge any matchmakers to go beyond their prejudices against single women in their thirties, their unfounded criticism of appearance, and reliance on fees and dowries to help me:. Highly educated, intellectual, artistic, petite, relative good-looking and moderately religious female in her mid-thirties looking for a nice, normal, equally career-minded relative good-looking moderately religious Jewish male.
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A man, who respects a woman and considers a woman an equal partner. A co-star rather than a supporting actress to his star billing. A man who loves animals because people open to animals are more loving, considerate and compassionate all good qualities in a potential partner.
A man who stands on his feet and is not looking for a woman to support him just because of his gender. A moderately religious man, who appreciates and observes the Shabbat and the holidays but without fanaticism, who equally lives in the secular world and all it has to offer. A man understands that a woman also wants to observe the religion put live in the secular world in every way, from career, hobbies, to the way she dresses.
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A man who loves and appreciates Israel and is open to aliyah. A man who wants to compromise and share a view with a woman for the future not imposes it. Otherwise, I am looking for a mensch, unfortunately, it should not be a tall order but somehow it has become that in the Jewish community.