My son is dating a black woman

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The kicker was when we went to the wedding of one of his friends in Cape Girardeau, Mo. I'm not exaggerating when I say white people stared at us as we walked down the street. If we had them, they would be "multiethnic" or "biracial" or "mixed heritage. But I was getting ahead of myself, right? Was I in this or not? Was I ready to be committed to a guy whose family owned shotguns and went to the Waffle House? My parents were both college professors.

His parents hadn't gone to college. My parents were Baha'is who didn't celebrate Christmas. His dad played Santa Claus in various malls below the Mason-Dixon line during the yuletide season. My boyfriend listened to emo rock, for God's sake! I loved that he shared a house off Sunset with a gay, Pakistani performance artist.

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I loved that he'd had the same Rottweiler for a pet since high school. I loved that he was a plaintiff's attorney, helping clients who'd been discriminated against in the workplace. Fourteen years and two kids later, race is still a thing, in a growing list of things, that defines us. Affairs chronicles the current dating scene in and around Los Angeles. If you have comments or a true story to tell, email us at LAAffairs latimes. The best advice I ever got for dating a guy with kids. We had a one-night stand. I wish it had stayed that way. I told her that I didn't have a car.


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She told me, 'Goodbye'. May 17, 6: I told myself I was going to AA meetings to meet guys.


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  7. By Jill Di Donato. Jun 02, 7: Race is still a thing. Over the years working in numerous writers rooms as the only black writer, I'd become a pro at deciphering comments white guys made: Interracial relationships aren't a big deal nowadays. I'd never do it but I think Halle Berry's pretty. I have a lot of friends in interracial relationships.

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    Some of my friends date Asian women. Today, kids don't care about race. My kid listens to hip-hop. We continued dating, and soon we were exclusive. This didn't come without challenges. Race is a thing. The more serious the relationship got, the more I started thinking about kids. This was bound to be a disaster. But I didn't break up with him. I grew to love him more. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman: She was the ice to my fire and changed me for the better as a person. She was definitely the kind of girl you bring home to meet your mother.

    Before my mom came up to visit, my brother suggested that I might want to tell her Maya was black. He thought she might have a problem with it. I thought he was overreacting. It turns out, he was right. Thankfully, we were at an event I was hosting and Maya and I were too preoccupied to get past formalities with my mom.

    Regardless, the next morning I woke up early to have coffee with my mom and knew this would be a topic of discussion.

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    She did agree that Maya was a great girl, but that only confused me more. It hurt me that I even had to have this conversation. The words hit her hard.

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    My mom grew up as a Southern Baptist woman in North Carolina during a racially segregated time. Her parents taught her to care for the well-being of everyone, and she instilled those values in me and my brother. She was involved in every team, classroom and scout group I belonged to and treated kids of all races just as she treated us. Black and white people in my hometown got along in individual cases, but there was still a stark line between the two racial groups.

    Her silence hurt me worse than an ignorant person being ignorant. After that first conversation about Maya with my mom, I could tell she was still struggling with our relationship, but she never said anything to me directly. I wanted to give her the time to work through it herself, though I found out later that my brother was mediating and talking with her constantly.

    Several months passed, and I decided to take Maya back home with me for my birthday celebration with my family. The night before we left, Maya could tell something was wrong with me. Unfortunately, you kind of get used it. You scared me, because I thought you were going to say you cheated on me! The birthday celebration was fun and Maya shined, as she always does. After that trip, I noticed my mom making more of an effort.

    She would send Maya Easter baskets and birthday gifts and ask me about her more often.

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    When Maya told me she was pregnant with our child last summer, I was elated, but as I fell asleep that night, somewhere in that happiness was the fear of how my mom would react. She was OK with us dating, but having a baby together? I decided I needed to tell her in person. When I did, she sighed and paused, like she had expected this to happen.

    I asked her what that meant and she told me she hoped we would have been married before Maya got pregnant.