Im dating a police officer
Even when everything seems perfect, statistically you're bound to fail and it's probably not your fault. The job just crushes everything in its path. Gonna miss those quesadillas. My biggest thing is getting an alarm call to a restaurant nights , having to clear it and finding out how disgustingly dirty the kitchen is.
He went on to describe the decompression that is needed for the first 24 hours of his day off and the effect the job has on them. Him taking 20 minutes to talk to a 21 year old forever changed my perspective of law enforcement and understanding of their sacrifices. Heightened awareness when out and about. Sitting in a restaurant where they can see the entrance. I always call out former inmates to my fiancee when we are driving somewhere too. I have also told her that if I hand her my keys or tell her to go to the car or something like that she needs to listen to me.
I have heard of other people doing similar things with their spouses. All too often, the job will take them away from you at inconvenient, shitty times. Had a funny feeling about a homeless guy I saw on the way in. Kept watching homeless man outside as we ate. Was told by girlfriend to relax, you're not working, its just a bum But in all seriousness, I pick on my husband a ton for his seating habits and for forcing me to walk on his left side, but I understand why he does it.
Best advice to OP is to deal with the quirks and pick your battles. Be prepared for her to face workplace issues that the guys don't face like the two extremes of constantly being hit on or being intentionally ignored and isolated from the group. Be understanding and non-judgmental.
A drinking problem will wreck her easier than it would a guy. Additionally, be ready to be the focus of scrutiny and judgement from her fellow officers. You will NOT be trusted by them until you either become a cop yourself or you get married. Honestly, not so sure. Worked at Dunkin Donuts for like a year and a half in high school. All the local cops were regulars in our store, pretty much all EMS on duty got their stuff comped. All the cops usually just got coffee or tea, occasionally a sandwich with it.
I think I only saw a cop touch a donut once in there. Yeah actually I did give two deputies a few dozen to take to the station one time at closing and they were pretty excited. They later mentioned it was one of the easiest parties they've ever busted, could hear the music a block away and a 16 year old girl was puking drunk on the front lawn. Honestly wouldn't have done it to anyone else. Easily a top 5 pick for one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever crossed paths with. Nah, I know full well what happens when you're at a busted party in this area.
You get cut loose if you're sober, if you're fucked up, they call your parents to pick you up. Give a cop food or drinks out in the field Give a cop free food at the station If it makes you feel any better After half-heartedly dating for a few years, she met a cop and wound up marrying him. He's an awesome dude, treats her like a queen, and is far more of a dad to her kids than the dipshit dentist ever was.
The good, bad and ugly of dating police officers
He made me his best man in the wedding even though I'm sure he has closer friends than me, and it was a gesture that everyone really appreciated. Class act all around. He's why I subscribe to this sub. Treat it like you would any other relationship. Christ you are both adults, this shit about needing time to drink alone and whatnot is why break ups and divorce are so common. Because neither person can be a fucking adult and communicate. Maybe s he is a total warrior sheepdog off duty who carries a gun in five different places, MUST face a door at a restaurant, etc.
The biggest thing I experience with my wife and I do try to work on it is that I rarely ask her to do something, always tell. You get used to dealing with people a certain way and taking charge of simple situations, and it's hard not to let that carry over into a partnership in a way that can seem overbearing or brash. If s he is a good one, and a good match, there's some quirks to understand that others have mentioned, but what they want and need can be different.
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If they come home for the day and you're there, if they don't want to talk about their day, don't talk about it that day. But they can't just drink and spend all their time dissociating themselves from everything everyday like some people suggested. There's a line to walk there. Go sit with them, talk about whatever other than that, something that doesn't take much thought, something they'd rather think about than the stuff from that day.
Or don't talk at all, just spend some time being there. As for some of the other stuff, sure they'll want to be in the better position to see everyone; they're also the best one to deal with anything that should happen.
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- 15 Things To Expect If You Are Going To Date A Cop - Pros And Cons.
Personally, I have at times been just as alert and desirous of the next best position despite being a non-cop. They'll probably be varying degrees of closed off out of a protective impulse; personally I think if you can talk about whatever happened, no matter what, at the dinner table, you're in a healthy relationship. As for the other protective impulses, like if they tell you to go somewhere like the car and call for help, in all likelihood the best situation is for you to do what they said, because there's no time to renegotiate or explain.
But if you talk about that sort of thing ahead of time, there's no one else you need to protect such as a kid you need to take to safety , and you can handle yourself, then it'd be a help to have two prepared people instead of one. You'll figure out where you can help and where you can't. It's a better partnership if you're roughly equals in this, I think. Honestly, you might find in general that it helps not to worry about everything, about image, or to be too sensitive about stuff. I think it's accurate to say they're often not going to care about that sort of thing either, though they'll still appreciate it if you decide to both dress nice and go to a restaurant you don't always go to.
Do check if it's known to be anti-cop or in a bad area for crime. A lot of the other stuff is definitely true; trust, respect, communication. Don't be a pain in his ass. Enhance his life, make it better. Don't make it more difficult. Don't make him come home and argue all the time. If you end up living together, appreciate the lengths to which he goes to pay the bills and put food on the table.
What stereotypes about dating a cop are accurate? : ProtectAndServe
Eat servings of fruits and vegetables on average, and drink 8 glasses of water each day. Be attentive and interested in the work of a police officer. To charm an officer, ask them questions about why they became a police officer and what they like and dislike about their work.
Showing genuine interest in their stressful, unconventional career will likely help the officer trust you and further your connection. For example, say something like, "So Jack, why did you want to be a cop? Listen carefully and offer support when discussing their work. In these instances, the best way to get the officer to like you is to show them your support.
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When the officer mentions reasons they are distressed, listen to all the details they give you, and respond with compassionate comments. I am proud you were there to help. Can I get you anything? Respect this and be patient with the details they do offer. Be accommodating of inconvenient and odd schedules. Most officers work all different shifts, and their schedules often change each week or month. It is helpful to be comfortable with alone time, because sadly they will not always be available when you would like them to be.
Being understanding and flexible helps accommodate the unconventional schedule of police officers. Police officers work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and during all major holidays. Come up with unusual and creative date ideas. Police officers work such odd hours, so be prepared to spend time together during unusual times of the day.
Come up with creative ways to spend time together based on their schedule. This will also show your officer that you understand the nature of their work and still are interested in dating them. Other ideas include going to a matinee movie, celebrating holidays and anniversaries when you have the time, and having a relaxing spa day at home. Develop your own hobbies and friendships to gain independence. You should be comfortable with alone time when you date an officer.
To do this, take up your own hobbies such as joining a book club, working out regularly, or gardening. In addition, you should have your own network of friends to spend time with when you are lonely or need support.
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You can also try hobbies like kickboxing , hiking , or knitting. Accept the dangers of their job and distract yourself when you worry. As part of their job, cops have to deal with things like dangerous people, guns, knives, and bombs. Because of this, you likely will worry about them from time to time. To avoid letting your worries get the best of you, spend time with friends, and family, or work on one of your hobbies. Instead, try to be positive and optimistic at all times. If you find yourself worrying, you can call a friend or read a book to distract you. Occupying your thoughts with other activities prevents you from worrying too much because you are busy with other things.
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Tips Always have open and honest communication with police officers you are interested in. Dating a police officer can be challenging, so if you feel strange about how things are going, talk to them about it so you can work on a solution. Warnings Understand both the highs and lows of dating a police officer before you commit to a relationship.
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